Tell Me I'm A Good Person A Bojack Horseman Story
by Shaking It Out
Summary: As Bojack Horseman's career and reputation has hit rock bottom Princess Carolyn thinks she has the right gig that cans save him. Will Bojack be ruined forever? Or will he finally be happy?
1. chapter 1

**Bojack's Point Of View**

 _beep beep beep_

I slowly open my tired eyes to stare up at the same cieling I've been watching for years, through good and through bad. I raise my hand to shield my eyes from the blinding sunlight that relentlessly shines through my window, I let a pathetic short lived cry as pain rushes through my head like a tsunami, I can barely hear my own thoughts over the relentless throbbing in my head. I shakily lower my hand inches from my eyes, my bedroom, which looks more like a warzone is littered with empty wine bottles 'Shit, I'm hungover' I think to myself. My eyes widen as I remember the reason I was awoken in the first place.

 **Princess Carolyn's Point Of View**

I impatiently swat at my hanging rat toy on my desk, I groan slamming my fist on the desk making the contents upon it rattle "Damnit Bojack it's 1 in the afternoon!" I shout in frustration as I wait for him to pick up, I groan and hold my forehead. I suddenly hear a groggy voice speak up through my headset. "Princess Carolyn...?" I hear Bojack ask, I lean back in my chair rolling away from my desk a bit with a broad grin on my face "Oh thank God you answered Bojack! I think I may have found just the right job that will gain you the redemption you so desperately seek!" My grin slowly fades as I wait for Bojack's response, which is taking a while. "Not now Carolyn.." Bojack replies "But Bojack this could revive the miserable carcass of your career!" I plea with him desperately, if one time he'd just listen to me, he could be in a great spot. "I'll call you back" I hear Bojack say quietly.

 **Bojack's Point Of View**

"Boja-!" Is all I hear from Carolyn before I hang up and weakly toss my phone onto my bed. I stand up trying to ignore the pounding pain in my head, my legs feel like Jell-O as I make my way into the kitchen. _'of course'_ I think to myself as I see the mess of cereal and milk spilled all over my counter "Todd!" I shout looking around. "Clean your mess!" I grunt as I sit down on my dirty couch, I can't remember the last time I washed these slipcovers. "Alright alright!" I hear Todd say as he comes towards the kitchen, to clean his mess I hope. I sit here for a few minutes, staring blankly at the black TV screen. 'I should call Carolyn' I think to myself, I shake my head slowly "eh.." I decide I'll do it later as I pull the greasy remote from between the couch cushions and turn on the tv, I'm sucked from my terrible reality until I'm interrupted by Todd vigorously shoving my phone in my face "Princess Carolyn keeps calling you" He says urgently. "ugh" I groan and swipe the phone from his hand "What?" I say, much more fustrated than before.


	2. Chapter Two A Shitty Movie

**Bojack's Point Of View**

"Bojack do you want to be a good person or not!" I hear Carolyn practically squeal angrily. "Don't start coughing furballs Carolyn.." I say with an exasperated groan as I tilt my head back and slowly stand up. "What's up with her?" I hear Todd curiously ask from the kitchen behind me, I sigh holding the bridge of my nose with frustration. "Carolyn wants me in a movie, so... I'm heading to her office" I say as I walk to the bathroom and stare at my miserable, pathetic reflection "What happened to you..?" I look deep into my eyes, I don't see Secretariat, I see a shithead. I walk out of the bathroom and head for the door "Don't throw a party Todd" I call out in a hoarse voice as I step onto the front stoop of my amazing mansion! Sorry it has a terrible owner. I walk to my red convertible butterfly door Lambo "I don't deserve this luxury" I mutter to myself with a scowl as I angrily kick a dent in the cars door, I cry out as I instantly regret it, I regret everything. I climb into my car and begin my sloppy drive to Princess Carolyn's office.

 **Princess Carolyn's Point Of View**

It seems to have taken absolutely forever for Bojack to arrive 'Where is he?!' I angrily think to myself as he walks through the doors "Thank God!" I say on edge already "Look the movie is called 'A Detective's Calling'" I say before looking to my print out of a summary of the story "A detective confronts a family and tells them how they each made a girl want to kill herself, but when they call the Chief and ask about the detective, the Chief has no idea who the detective is" I say raising my eyebrows and setting the paper down on my desk and look at Bojack's dark, deep, and depressed eyes, staring deep into them I say sternly "Will you take the part?"

 **Bojack's Point Of View**

I scrunch up my face in an annoyed and confused expression "That plot twist is stupid.." "It's gonna be a blockbuster! Hollywoo will love you again!" Princess Carolyn shouts reassuringly. "If you truly think so.." I say and she rapidly nods "Scarlet Johansen is in it" Carolyn says quickly "I will take the part, don't let me down" I say as I turn and leave without waiting for her response, out of the corner of my eye I can see her doing a small victory dance.


	3. Chapter Three Find A Friend

**Bojack's Point Of View**

I return to my house with lots and lots to think about. "Todd?" I call out "Get me a beer..." I say, trailing off as I close the door and grimly walk to the couch and slump down onto the stained cushion, beer helps me think, really, who am I kidding "Actually forget it" I groan "I just need some time to think" I stand up "is my career worth saving? I'm a goddamn piece of shit!" I angrily kick the couch and stumble back, holding my foot in pain. I want to cry, I want to run away, not again, all I truly want is happiness, why must a simple thing be so hard to find, so hard to reach, like the high shelf at the store. Damn I should have put that quote in my book.

 **Todd's Point Of View**

I sit down on the couch and I think for a bit, I grin and jump up as a brilliant idea comes into my mind "I know what you need Bojack!" I stare at him with a big grin "Todd I don-" I stop Bojack before he can ruin my idea "No man, this is a really good idea, this is just what you need!" Bojack sighs "Alright.. I'm listening" "Great! So there is this new app called 'Find A Friend' it's for people who feel lonely and suicidal, so instead of professionals, normal relatable people create an account and depressed people in need of support and schedule some time with them and they try to turn their life around!" I throw my arms in the air "Bojack you need a Find A Friend friend!" I grin as I lower my arms

 **Bojack's Point Of View**

That's stupid "You've got to be fucking kidding me" I'm a bit agitated he gave me this dumbass idea "Bojack give it a chance!" Todd pleads "Alright, fine. I'll do it." What else will I do anyway? Todd runs out of the room and comes back with my laptop, sometimes I really appreciate him, even when he does get on my nerves, which is almost all the time. He opens the lid and quickly finds their website "Lets see what they have" he says excitedly as he scrolls through the options "Hmm. Brian, Dog, 28, 5"8, likes pools, likes lifting, rappers, action movies, Doggin' Around" Todd reads off his bio, this guys sounds like an asshole, also I don't need a Doggin' Around fan. "Next." I blurt. "ok...how about Jessica, Human, 20, 5"9, likes chocking, hair pulling, fore-" Todd stops "that's not what we're looking for.." he says as he continues scrolling. Jesus christ, what did I let Todd get me into? "Oh! how about Anne, red panda, 24, 5"3, likes people, baking, children, helping, and...Lady Gaga" Todd nodded a bit "What do you say?" he says, staring at me like this is a life or death situation "I'm not a child, I don't need a babysitter" I say bluntly "sometimes you act like one" Todd said chuckling to himself a bit "Yeah yeah fine, schedule her to come on Wednesday, I have a script to practice" I say as I walk away towards my bedroom "Find a friend, this is bullshit, what kind of name is that?" I say as I flop down on my bed, staring out the window "don't fuck this movie up Bojack.." I mutter to myself

 **Anne's Point Of View**

I'm sitting at a round table in the back corner of the bakery in downtown Hollywoo where I work. It's lunch break, I'm checking my email with a small hopeful smile, I'm hoping someone has reached out to me, I really need something to do with my weeknights, sitting at home alone watching Kathy Griffin comedy re-runs isn't ideal and when I cought wind of this app I was so happy to finally do something with myself and also help people who need someone or a suicidal or depressed person feel better. So I was so excited to see that I received an email, part of the email adress catches my eye, the name Horseman does sound very familiar though. The email asked if I could come on Wednesday at 5pm. 'Of course' I quickly emailed back saying that I'd be there and I asked for the address and other Information like that. Although I am really nervous...If I'm being hired to help someone who's depressed and they kill themselves..does that mean I failed..? I shake off the negative thoughts as my lunch break ends, gosh I completely forgot about my lunch I was so excited about the scheduled meet up that I totally forgot about lunch. I wonder if people have gotten kidnapped from this app.

 **Yikes**

 ** _•That Wednesday•_**

 **Anne's Point Of View**

"Geez Louise!" I say as I pull into this guy's driveway, if I'd known I was supposed to talk to some rich guy with a Lamborghini I wouldn't have worn a blue flannel and jeans. My honda looks terrible next to it...like putting off brand Aldi chips next to the giant original bags you get from Costco! Well I'm surely going to look out of place, but I can definitely brag about meeting rich people. I slowly step onto the front stoop, I knock on the door twice, I don't use the doorbell so I don't somehow break it. It takes a while, I can hear grumbling and something awful on the other side before the door swings open, the mess on the inside is overwhelming at first but then it's about as bad as my apartment whenever I pull an all nighter because of a Horsin' Around marathon. Wait, Horsin' Around.. this is Bojack Horseman! Oh. This **is** Bojack Horseman..yikes. "Hello Sir, I'm Anne Reighling from Find A Friend" I say with a cheery smile. That app name sounds horrible in a sentence. Bojack grunts "Yeah" he says and moves out of the way "Come in" He sounds like a deflated balloon. I nod and step into his home as he lamely kicks the door closed behind him. This should be interesting to say the least...


End file.
